February 18, 2010
Give the Gift of Love to a Hapless Bachelor
You know that guy in your life who never seems lucky in love or in life, in general. I’m sure that you have such a friend; it seems that all of us do.
I probably should tell you in advance that you better like this friend quite a bit, because the gift idea that I’m going to offer is a bit on the pricey side, although worth every penny. Maybe this guy is your son, or nephew, or uncle or your roommate who just refuses to leave.
Try giving him a truly romantic dinner for which he never has to leave the house or apartment. Hopefully he’ll be able to find an appropriate date with whom to share it. Let’s face it, nothing sweeps a potential partner off his or her feet quite like a private, romantic, dinner at the host’s home. I really do have a particular friend in mind as I write this, and he needs all the help I can provide, and I’m sure your similar friend does, too. You may need to be very specific when you give him your gift and the instructions to go with it. Remind him to light candles, choose the music for him and suggest he pick up his dirty socks.
He can begin the evening with the first part of your present, a selection of gourmet cheeses as the first course. Suggest that he consider serving the cheese with ripe apple slices or pear slices, but only if you trust him to handle a knife. This course can actually be a nice appetizer, before they are actually seated at the dining table.
The second course should be a delicious lobster dinner a different seafood dinner or perhaps a combination of steak and lobster, sometimes known as surf and turf. Since this man needs so much help, you will want to be certain that the lobster is as fresh as possible.
End the evening (at least the part of the evening you’re helping with) with a delicious, turtle cheesecake. Or, if he does not like chocolate, then select the more traditional New York cheesecake, decorated with a sprig of fresh mint.
If he drinks alcoholic beverages, do not trust him to choose the wine for the dinner. Lobster is very hearty fare, so don’t be afraid to suggest he pair it with a bold wine such as a Merlot or even a Burgundy.
Once you’ve done your part in the affair, relax until you receive the engagement announcement. If it doesn’t arrive within six months, just find another friend. That will be much easier.
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January 17, 2010
Choosing Among Gourmet Giftbasket Options
Gift baskets are out of date! Or is it that they’re just boring? Actually, I hope the correct response is neither. (Lock it in; that’s my final answer.) I’m actually a gift food merchant. Kind of has a special ring to is, doesn’t it? While I agree that it’s not quite the same as being a test pilot or a neurosurgeon, it’s an honest way to pay for tuition for my grandson. Or at least it would be a good way to do so if more of you bought my products.
I know what you’re thinking: “I’ll bet he never has a problem deciding what to give during the holidays; he just gives the same boring baskets year after year to everyone.” How dare you think about me in that way! I actually have the same problems you have in deciding what gift is best for everyone on my list.
I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones. Even if I did just give gift baskets to everyone, my choice would be only marginally easier than yours. My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more. (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is. Please be patient.)
Before you bribe me (or threaten me) to share my store location with you, I want to tell you about my own decision making approach.
First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift. If Uncle Milton has his drinking problem under control for the first time in ten years, I should not even consider the wine baskets. Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal. After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She loves to let everyone know the best vintage years, the kinds of grapes that are used in various blends and, most of all, how much she spent on the wine you just spilled all over her new carpeting ( a square yard). I’ll give her one of my better wine gift baskets, but I refuse to give her the best stuff. Sure, I get it wholesale, but I still have to pay for it! (I’m also not going to pay for the carpet cleaning; not after what that cat of hers did to my new coat.)
Everyone in our family, except me, says that my nephew Alfred finally made his girlfriend an honest woman. I, on the other hand, never doubted his girlfriend’s honesty, but I have some reasons to suspect Alfred. In any case, they finally got married. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) Alfred always loves to receive cash as a gift. There’s no way that I’m satisfying that desire. His wife wouldn’t get a dime of it. Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me. Actually two, of course. I figure it’s the only way to get that cheap guy’s new bride out of the kitchen for an evening. (They honeymooned by visiting me!)
Second, I decide how much I’m willing to spend on these losers.
My grandson is getting the latest video game system. Let’s face it; he is truly special.
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